Just for fun, our alternative Ayrshire election results

So, a little tired and not really all that emotional (stop crying, mate, you’ll get a sleep in a few hours - Ed), we thought we might offer readers our alternative election results.

Not who should have won – but who deserved an award for their actions on the big night...

Yum! (Image: Contributed)

Best hospitality: North Ayrshire Council

While our scribes at the counts in Kilmarnock and Ayr got some coffee or tea (and very welcome it was too), North Ayrshire Council pushed the boat out with rolls and slice, rolls and bacon (with optional tattie scones), sandwiches, hot drinks and juice. And it was all free. 

Nats all folks... (Image: SNP)

Sharpest exit: The SNP

It’s fair to say it was not a great night for the SNP, either in Ayrshire or across much of Scotland. And some of their defeated candidates really did beat a hasty retreat, within about a minute of the results being declared. No blame attached there though – we’d have done the same in their shoes.

In the pink: Irene Campbell (Image: Newsquest)

Best dressed: Irene Campbell

There were indeed some natty outfits worn by candidates across the area, but we’re giving this award to the new North Ayrshire & Arran Labour MP. Surrounded in a sea of her supporters, all clad in red of various shades, her pink coat really stood out.

Corin Matthew Vallance: a cut above the rest (Image: Scottish Greens)

Best haircut: Korin Matthew Vallance

Mohawk. That’s all we’re saying about the Green candidate for Ayr, Carrick and Cumnock. Cracking!

Corri Wilson (Image: Corri Wilson)

Lost deposit of the night: Corri Wilson

As SNP MP for Ayr, Carrick and Cumnock between 2015 and 2017, she had a decent majority - elected nine years ago with 25,492 votes, almost half of the total.

This week, as the Alba candidate, she got just 472.

Best Disguise of the Campaign

Ian Charles Gibson stood as a Social Democratic Party candidate in North Ayrshire and Arran, a matter of weeks after running on a Scottish Family Party ticket in North Ayrshire Coucil's Kilwinning by-election. Mr Gibson, and the 2024 version of the SDP (who fielded 122 candidates across the UK, though only two in Scotland), used a red-and-white campaign logo remarkably similar to the left-of-centre SDP in the 1980s. He received 238 votes, fewer than any other party bar Socialist Labour.

(Incidentally, the aforementioned Scottish Family Party ran 16 candidates, though like the SDP they didn't come anywhere near winning any seats or indeed having much of an influence on any outcome.)

Colonel Andrew Wilson (Image: Andrew Wilson)

Lookalike of the night: Andrew Wilson

We got a sudden craving for a Kentucky Fried Chicken when we spotted the Reform candidate for Ayr, Carrick and Cumnock. That’s all...

Reporter played by model. Cat also played by model (Image: Contributed)

Late arrival of the night: Murray Grayston

Our ace reporter at both the Ayr, Carrick and Cumnock and Central Ayrshire counts did a bang up job…despite sleeping in and heading from Saltcoats to Ayr in a panic, hoping he hadn’t missed out on the results. He hadn't, but we sent him on a wild goose chase to Kilmarnock Sheriff Court on Friday anyway, just for the lolz. (That you down wiv da kids now, is it? - Ed)

Patricia Gibson (Image: Patricia Gibson)

Shortest and sweetest loser’s response: Patricia Gibson

After an unceremonious end to her nine years as North Ayrshire and Arran's MP, Ms Gibson really didn’t want to say much after losing her seat.

“The people have spoken,” was about all we got before she headed to the exit.

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